It’s that time when we’re supposed to reflect and set goals for the New Year. Or if you’re a member of the more cynical set, it’s time to ridicule resolution-makers and people who take up all the parking spots at the gym until February. Depending on the year, I could go either way.
I was looking through some old posts this morning, thinking about what I’ve put out there (more or less publicly, depending upon how much traffic you think this little blog gets) and I’ve realized a couple of things:
- I’m really good at setting goals that I never think about, ever again.
- … Nope, that’s it. There’s just the one thing. I like bullet points.
We had a rather interesting weekend, after an exhausting but ultimately satisfying month wherein I deliberately set my sights on NOT resenting all of the holiday fuss and expense and impositions on my time and waistline. Turns out I can generate all kinds of good, yule-tide ju-ju when I set my mind to it, even though I’m predisposed to Grinch-ism.
For this past New Year’s weekend, like a lot of folks all over the world, we were making plans for ringing in the holiday that had to do with lots of revelry and then making it home without mishap. After a month of concerted merry-making from someone who’s normally not very jolly, it would be nice to just hang out, eat good food, have a cocktail or two with friends, then make it home in one piece.
Through the fault of no one in particular, our plan sort of fell apart. That’s not to say the evening was a loss at all. In fact it turned out to be relaxing and fun. That’s not the point. The point is the issues I have with letting a plan go by the wayside.
When I make plans, I tend to move along the path of those plans with my head down and a great deal of resistance to external forces on my trajectory, which leads me what I’m going to call Newton’s 4th Law of Motion*
A person in motion stays more or less easygoing unless her plans change unexpectedly and she has to be accommodating and good natured about it, but her guard was down and she thought she was done with the whole Being-More-Merry thing, and dammit, everybody knows what they’re going to be doing for NEW YEAR’S EVE except for one grown-ass woman in particular who just wants stuff to go the way she plans FOR FREAKING ONCE.
Anyway, after this weekend, when I was unnecessarily brittle about the need to be flexible and accommodating to impositions on my time by people I normally try to be nice to**, I have come to recognize that I have a syndrome I need to learn how to deal with, now and forevermore to be known as Resting Bitch Attitude.
I’m not quite sure how to deal with RBA, but if this past holiday season has shown me anything, it’s that I am capable of almost anything if I can be deliberate about my intentions.
I can keep from feeling putout by the unexpected. I’m sure of it. I just have to tell myself daily that the universe is going to throw me a curveball and I’ll deal with it with grace and humor and a level of inner peace that would make a Buddhist monk look like a Tasmanian devil by comparison.
I’m not sure if RBA can be totally overcome, or if I can just learn to mask the symptoms, but if anything, that’s my goal for 2017.
So, unlike past resolutions that keep getting tossed to the wayside because I forget about them, or they’re unrealistic (there was that one about being prompt. Who was I kidding?), I’m going to learn how to counter my inner grouch. I’m going to be one easy-going gal. I could even go beyond easy-going. I’ll eschew cynicism of any kind. I’ll give up snark completely. I’ll be Pollyanna on steroids. Forest animals will follow me around and bluebirds will alight on my shoulders and outstretched fingers.
Okay, probably not the thing about forest animals, or the one about Buddhist monks either. But cheers to a less bitchy 2017 everyone.
* If anyone wants to point out that that Newton already had an informal 4th Law, and it had to do with gravity, not motion, nor bitchy attitudes, or that science should not be blamed for my snapping at people, may I remind you that this is a piece of satire, and you should calm the heck down.
** I would like to sincerely apologize to anyone with whom I’ve been snappy in the last 48 hours. I (still) blame it on science.
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